I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
