he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
