so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
