I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
