DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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