i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
