one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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