It's just like the Real World with babies
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
