i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this will be a night to untag.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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