how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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