Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
