I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
