Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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