dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
