any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were trust falling into bushes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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