So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
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The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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