my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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