Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You just made me feel so damn special
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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