The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
