I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
