I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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