ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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