yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
