Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
