So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
