does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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