I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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