I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
