If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dicks are not precious.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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