my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
