i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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