he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
