this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
