Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
