You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
