If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Watching her eat just hurts me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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