So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
