BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
nutella sex= disaster
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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