I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
