I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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