We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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