i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He better not be in your backpack
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
