I seem to have left my pride at pride
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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