My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
