"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
