I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Damn victory sex feels great
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize