id be glad to
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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