i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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