I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
