Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
