gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
