Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
