i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
