Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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