Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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