Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize